Growing up, many boys were taught that certain music, television shows, fashion, and creative interests were meant for girls. This conversation explores why male fans of artists like Beyoncé and Nicki Minaj may face judgment, or why shows like Living Single and Girlfriends were sometimes labeled as entertainment for women. We will examine how media and culture shape our understanding of masculinity and why men should feel free to enjoy creative expression without worrying about gender expectations.
While growing up in Detroit, Michigan, in the early 2000s, I remember my older cousins teasing me because I liked all kinds of music, regardless of genre or the gender of the artist. My cousins primarily listened to rap music made by Black male artists. I never connected with all rap music because I couldn’t relate to many of the songs. Eventually, the teasing made me uncomfortable and pressured me to try to enjoy rap music, even though, in reality, I didn’t like much of what I was hearing.
I do appreciate conscious rap and music that promotes growth, awareness, and positive change within our communities. I also listened to male R&B and pop artists, but even then, my musical preferences sometimes felt like an issue. I never understood how someone’s taste in music could be used to define their sexuality, especially when children don’t always fully understand the messages behind the music they’re listening to.
Perhaps because I was raised by older parents, I was exposed to a wide variety of music, including the legendary artists of Motown. That exposure taught me to appreciate music beyond one genre or demographic. During the 1980s and 1990s, it often felt like music could simply be music, without the same rigid gender labels. A man could appreciate Whitney Houston’s voice and artistry without having to sexualize her or explain why he enjoyed her music. Men could admire an artist, connect with a song, and appreciate the art for what it was.
By the 2000s, however, things felt different. Sometimes, it seemed that men had to sexualize Beyoncé to justify their appreciation of her artistry, or overexplain why they preferred certain music. Instead of simply enjoying the music, they were expected to defend their interests.
What’s particularly interesting is that many songs performed by women are written or co-written by men. Songs like Beyoncé’s Irreplaceable, Karen White’s Superwoman, and City Girls’ Act Up demonstrate how music can cross boundaries between the people who create it and the people who enjoy it. It’s ironic that men can contribute to creating songs that resonate with women, yet other men may feel uncomfortable openly enjoying those same songs.
You don’t have to sexualize a female artist to appreciate her. You can admire her talent, stage presence, creativity, discipline, and work ethic. You can look up to an artist because of what she represents and what she has accomplished. For example, NFL player Bobby Wagner has spoken about being inspired by Beyoncé’s work ethic after seeing her perform on tour. That kind of admiration goes beyond gender. It recognizes dedication, excellence, and the discipline required to succeed at the highest level. It shows that we can appreciate an artist’s accomplishments without reducing the conversation to sexuality.
Music should not be restricted by gender labels. Art is a form of expression that can connect us all, regardless of who creates it or who listens to it. We shouldn’t have to hide our interests or feel embarrassed about the music that moves us. One thing I appreciate about TikTok is how it has helped create spaces where more men feel comfortable openly enjoying female artists and their music. Seeing men confidently sing along to their favorite songs without feeling the need to defend their sexuality feels like progress. In some ways, it feels like healing a part of the little boy inside me who once felt limited to enjoying only certain genres of music.
Over time, I’ve realized that having a broad taste in music reflects an openness to different perspectives, experiences, and forms of creativity. It means you’re not allowing society to put you in a box. There’s something special about attending a concert and singing your favorite song alongside the artist who created it. In that moment, the music brings people together. The focus isn’t on gender expectations or what other people might think. It’s about the connection between the artist, the music, and the audience.
Everyone deserves that freedom, especially Black men, who are too often pressured to fit narrow definitions of masculinity.
Music has no gender. Art has no boundaries. And no one should have to explain who they are because of what they love to listen to.
