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  • Martel Sharpe

Dating Tips for Black Men From A Black Woman

With author Demetria L. LucasDon’t Waste Your Pretty preparing for its debut as a TV One movie, a resurgence in interest for the writer’s 2014 book, with the same name, has caused her to dust off hundreds of copies she had in storage and sell them online with her signature.

The former Essence relationships editor said that she’s made more sales of the book now than she did when it originally released, which according to her had great initial sales.

Lucas became the go-to-girl for relationship and dating advice after the success of her first book A Belle In Brooklyn, which was named after her popular blog.

For Don’t Waste Your Pretty, she took reoccurring questions and subjects from messages that she received from her fans and advice-seekers. She was able to compact over 30,000 questions into over 300-pages of her responses to the most common relationship-related problems that her readers wanted to know the answers.

And though a lot of her writings and advice is geared toward Black women, most of it can be applied to Black men as well. She even makes it a point to include them in on the fun because most of the problems that occur aren't a gender thing, but a bad communication (or lack of) and general ignorance sort of thing for both men and women.

For example, according to Lucas, the phrase “don’t waste your pretty” is a euphemism for women, and men, to stop giving away valuable resources and assets that they give to the wrong the partner, whether it’s their time, money, sex, affection, prayers, kind words, emotional support, and then some.

It’s time to dust off a copy of Don’t Waste Your Pretty long with Lucas and pick out some advice the author gives that can be applied to Black men.

Smile and give a compliment

Smiling seems like a simple concept but it’s also very important for attracting the person you want. Lucas emphasizes smiling and giving compliments throughout the book because it makes you noticeable, approachable and interested. When you spot someone you like, give a smile and then follow up with a compliment. The compliment gives you something to say as a great ice breaker.

Most people respond well to a smile and compliment because it's an easy and friendly interaction. It's not going to get you a date, but it does get you in the door to talk to someone. This advice doesn’t just work for dating but also networking in general.

Put some effort into dating

A lot of people use the notion of stopping looking for someone and let it happen when it happens. And while that may have worked for some people, in reality, it doesn’t make this. Think about this, have you ever left anything that you wanted in life up to chance? You’ve put thought and action into what college to go to, what field to major in, what job to take, that promotion, whether or not to start a business, where to live and what car to drive.

If love is as important to you as many people say it is, why not put in similar energy to those other things you wanted and went after. This doesn’t mean go crazy and sign up for a dating reality show or start auditioning people to be your partner. But it does mean positioning yourself get what you're after by doing things that will bring you closer to your love goal.

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