Question: I have a question about marriage. When is enough enough in a marriage? My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years and we have 2 children together. I take marriage seriously and believe if to be a lifelong commitment – in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, etc. Lately my husband has become what I view as verbally abusive (never physical). I think he has been stressed, so I thought he was just saying things out of frustration. I have no evidence of him cheating but I suspect it. He owns his own business and I found out that times he says he’s going to work, he’s really not. He says business is bad which is why he isn’t making much money, but now that I have found out he’s not even working days he says he is, I don’t know what to do. He has walked out on me in anger and not come back until early morning, he no longer seems to support anything I do. He gets mad if I try to talk about it with him (even in a calm tone). He refuses to talk at all. I’m lost because I feel like I’ve sacrificed so much and supported his businesses and with two children, It’s not easy to just leave. Is there hope he can change? Do you believe God can work a miracle? Or do you think sometimes you need to call it quits in marriage? I feel like he would never leave me, he would just do what he wants and cheat on me and come and go as he pleases while still legally being married to me. I don’t think it’s fair to me to have to live that way, so I feel like I either need to pray and trust God to work it out or move on with my life without him. Any advice would be appreciated.
Cavalli’s Advice: Thank you for reaching out. I am very sorry that you are even having to deal with this situation because NOBODY deserves to be verbally abused in any way or have to question the loyalty of their partner.
In situations where there are signs of infidelity, I always say that direct and honest communication is the best route to find out the information needed. If I were you, I would sit him down alone and look him in his eyes while holding his hands and ask him directly if he has been seeing other women. Let him know beforehand that no matter what the answer is you will not lash out at him or violently over react. If he denies that he has been with other women, then bring up how you know that he is not at work when he claims to be. Based on what you find out, you should act accordingly.
In regards to miracles. I do believe that God can do anything for us, but he has to do it with us. Every miracle in the Bible showed how God did his part and how humans had to do theirs. Examples of Jesus healing the blind man’s eyes and telling him to go dip in the fountain, Moses having to lift his staff to spread the Red Sea etc. I say that to say, God can WANT to change him, but ultimately your husband will have to want to change himself otherwise it will not work.
If you have questions about your relationship, make sure you email them to QGRomanceMENt@gmail.com