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Christmas Time Crimes


Hi Coach Cavalli. I wanted to write you because I’m nervous about meeting my girlfriends family. We will be going over to exchange and open presents at her parents house. We’ve only been dating three months and she felt like it was about time I meet everyone. As if meeting her parents wasn’t nerve-wrecking enough, but now all her uncles, aunts and siblings will be there to interrogate and cross reference me as well. 

The bigger issue I’m nervous about is what to get her. She mentioned that all her other boyfriends were cheap and that’s why her dad never thought anything of the other guys she brought home were good enough. That’s why I feel it would be a crime to not get her a great gift. She tells me not to worry and she’s happy with anything, but I feel like that’s a set up. By saying that she doesn’t sound like a gold digger, but simultaneously puts the ball in my court. If it was just me and her exchanging gifts in private, I feel I could do something small and cute or make something creative and heartfelt. I don’t want to go too big because as I mentioned, we’ve only been together for three months. However, I don’t feel like her family will care that it’s only been a few months and will expect me to surprise with a trip to Paris, or to a Chanel purse or even a pony. I’m kidding, but I’m also serious. I need help. What should I do?

Cavalli Advice:

Hi and thanks for writing in. I’ve been exactly where you are more times than I would like to admit and it’s not fun at all. The pressure is on to please your girl and impress her family. The one major piece of advice I’ll give you is do what feels right in your heart. Don’t put a price tag on it, just do what feels right from what you think your girlfriend will appreciate. Notice I didn’t say anything about what her parents, siblings or snotty nose nephews approve of because your relationship and love is with HER. You need to always be respectful of her family, but they don’t need to dictate how you spend your money or how you show love to your lady.

Good people want to know that you listen and that you care. So the if you notice she always complaining about her feet being cold, buy her a bunch of fuzzy, cute sox in her favorite colors that have custom writing on them of quotes that are meaningful to her. If she complains about her back and body aching all the time get her a spa day or get oils yourself and rub her down while candle lights burns. There are a millions ways to show her you care without breaking the bank, and at least her family will know that she is being listened to, and any family member can appreciate that. By keeping it true to yourself and your partner’s love you will avoid committing any Christmas Time Crimes. Be blessed, Happy Holidays and I hope your visit goes well! 

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