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Is Being a Good Lover or Parent More Important?



In relationships today, being a good lover is vital. It's more than hugs and kisses; it's about understanding and caring for your partner in a way that makes the connection stronger. But when your relationship develops and you have children, this adds another element to the mix. This is when there's often a discussion about what matters more: being a good lover or a good parent. Let's delve into this interesting topic!


A recent study by Hashtag Dating gathered over 4 million survey responses from their community, involving both men and women. The survey asked various questions, like what people like on first dates, their family preferences, and how they see the future with their significant others. Out of those 4 million answers, what did the respondents value? 


  • 80.31% of males would rather be with a good lover than a good parent. 

  • Males are looking for passion (73.19%) rather than stability from their partner.

  • A good personality is more important than good looks for both sexes, but particularly for women (81.45%) who would choose someone who will make them feel good, rather than who looks good.


With many more interesting findings, this study helps people who are dating by providing an insight into what others are looking for or value when it comes to a partner. It also suggests that traditional ideas about relationships might be changing. For those looking for someone to connect with, the study results suggest that talking openly about what each person wants is key! It emphasizes the significance of mutual understanding and compatibility in fostering long-lasting relationships, whether you’re looking for a lover or the parent of your future children. 


Being a Good Lover


Being adept at being a good lover significantly enhances the dynamics of a relationship. Think of it as possessing a special ingredient that makes everything click seamlessly. At its core is a robust emotional connection—the kind that weathers the test of time. A good lover comprehends the importance of providing understanding and emotional support, fostering a comfortable environment for partners to share vulnerabilities—the adhesive that binds relationships together. When combined with emotions, physical intimacy can truly step into the limelight.


There’s no doubt that having children changes your life in a lot of ways. You become less spontaneous, your focus is on your little one, and sometimes this doesn’t leave much space for your relationship with your partner. But a good lover understands the necessity of maintaining the flame of passion, incorporating small gestures, adventure, and physical closeness. And here's the real game-changer: infusing excitement, which can make the tough times not seem so bad. Monotony can dampen the sparks in a relationship, so a good lover adds a pinch of spice, ensuring the relationship remains vibrant, dynamic, and incredibly thrilling. This can, in turn, have a massively positive effect on your capacity to care for your child, as you feel your needs are indeed being met. 


How to Be a Good Lover


Being a good lover involves a set of important traits. You might not expect it, but communication is at the core, where expressing feelings, active listening, and encouraging open dialogue are key. This makes sure that both partners feel like they are being heard and understood. Additionally, empathy plays an important role, allowing a good lover to connect on a deeper level by understanding a partner’s perspective, validating their emotions, and offering support. This creates an environment for everyone to thrive emotionally and physically. Open-mindedness is another trait embraced by a good lover, and also being receptive to change, which helps sustain the vitality of the relationship over time.


Being a Good Parent 

So what about being a good parent? That’s of course important too! Showing your partner that you’re committed and fully invested in your family unit is valuable in more ways than one. Not only will your child grow up feeling loved and accepted, but the bond you have with your partner will deepen in a way you’ve never experienced before as they see you through the new role of “parent”. As their love, respect, and adoration for you increases, this will not only have a positive effect on your familial relationship but on your romantic relationship too. 


It has to be said that being a good parent is not always easy. You’re bound to make mistakes every now and again - you’re only human after all! But putting in the effort to be the best possible parent you can be is a decision that will reward you tenfold. 


Balancing Being a Good Lover and Parent

Do you want a happier relationship? Balancing being a good lover and a good parent is the key to success! It means understanding the importance of both roles and making sure they work well together. Being a good parent deals with everyday, practical life tasks (think routines, schedules, taking your children to the doctor, dance class, and so on). On the other hand, keeping the romantic side of things strong (by organizing cute dates and spending quality time together, for example) is also super important for a relationship that lasts. Although it might not seem like it at first, these two roles go hand in hand, each making the relationship better in their own unique way. Actively putting effort into both roles is like planting seeds for a strong relationship. It's a choice to keep the connection not just alive but full of energy and happiness.


Being exclusively committed to just one role, like being a good parent, comes with certain drawbacks. In long-term, stable relationships, there's a danger of taking each other for granted, as the focus on being a good parent might bulldoze the importance of keeping the flame alive between you both. Another drawback is the potential lack of passion, as prioritizing children over actively fostering a romantic connection can result in relationships becoming routine and complacent, losing the spark that initially brought you together.


However, on the other hand, if you only put effort into being a good lover and don’t deem being a good parent important, this can lead to other issues. Your child may feel sad and neglected as they appear unimportant in your eyes. This might make it harder for you to bond with your child if you ever do decide to shift your focus to them. Additionally, even though your partner might benefit from and appreciate your skills as a good lover, there’s a chance that you not prioritizing your relationship and responsibilities as a parent could cause a rift between you two also. 


Therefore, the key word here really is balance. Make sure you’re juggling the roles of being a good lover and a good parent as best you can! Sure, you might have days where being a good parent comes easier than being a good lover or vice versa. That’s fine! Just take time to regularly review the balance, communicate with each other, and adjust wherever necessary to keep you and your loved ones happy. 


Conquering Relationship Obstacles

In any relationship, communication challenges are bound to happen. A good partner takes on the responsibility of not just acknowledging these breakdowns but actively addressing them. This involves finding solutions that build rather than break, allowing both partners to grow together through the process. When it comes to misunderstandings, they can be like cracks in the foundation of a relationship. A good partner dives into the heart of the matter, seeking to understand the root causes. This approach creates a culture of openness and vulnerability, acting as a shield against future conflicts. And let's talk about the spark—even in long-lasting relationships, it might need a little nudge. Being a good partner means taking proactive steps to reignite passion. This could involve new experiences, shared adventures, or simple acts of affection, all aimed at keeping the flame burning bright.


At the end of the day, every single relationship and family situation is unique. You have to be open to communicating honestly with the people in your life about what suits your unit best. While it's vital to be a good, caring parent, paying attention to your partner’s feelings and keeping the romance alive makes the relationship stronger and last longer, which in turn will benefit your children as they see their parents working as a strong team! Finding a balance between being a good lover and a good parent helps the relationship grow and stay strong over time. It's not about picking one over the other; it's about doing both as well as possible. This mix creates a wonderful, lasting love story and a happy family!


Photo Credit: DepositPhotos.com

1 Comment


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i you
Dec 27, 2023

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