There is no experience quite like becoming a father. Studies have found that fatherhood is good for men, especially from a psychological viewpoint. It makes room for feelings and behaviors that conventional standards of masculinity do not allow.
Men often spend their entire lives masking their vulnerabilities and sensitivities in fear of being considered weak or feminine. With kids in the picture, fathers have the opportunity to explore all these sides of themselves away from the public eye.
Rewarding as it is, fatherhood comes with some definite initial challenges. In this article, we will discuss the three most common and, at times, toughest of these challenges.
Deciding Feeding Methods
Not every mother has a smooth baby-feeding experience, and this will naturally affect the father. There can be many reasons why a woman may not be able to breastfeed her newborn; some are temporary, while others are long-term or permanent.
According to UNICEF, some of the most common challenges include difficulties with latching, mastitis or blocked milk ducts, sore nipples, low milk supply, and engorged breasts. Though some of these problems are temporary discomfort, they can quickly become permanent.
For instance, a low milk supply may extend for days or weeks, during which the baby is fed commercial formula. The baby may develop a taste for baby formula and refuse to accept the mother’s milk later on. If not that, at the least, the baby might refuse to latch onto the mother’s breast.
In other cases, the issue can be more serious and even life-threatening. An example would be premature infants or those born with a low birth weight. Such babies are vulnerable to developing a gastrointestinal condition called necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC) due to commercial baby formulas.
Two baby formula manufacturers are already facing NEC lawsuits due to the said injury. Mead Johnson and Abbott Laboratories’ Similac and Enfamil formulas are causing symptoms of NEC in infants. These include abdominal pain, changes in breathing and body temperature, yellow or green vomit, a lack of weight gain, and refusal to eat.
According to TorHoerman Law, NEC is often fatal if left untreated, leading to complications like sepsis and peritonitis. This experience can be financially and emotionally taxing for new parents. Dealing with a premature child is overwhelming.
The father will have to make decisions for both a distressed mother and a critical infant. If the mother can breastfeed, some of the tension will wear off as this practice would be the baby’s best chance at survival.
However, if that is not possible due to breastfeeding issues, it’s crucial to look for safer alternatives. The new dad must then look for human milk banks for donated milk. He needs to verify the milk bank’s practices to ensure they collect, store, and distribute milk hygienically.
Balancing Work and Family Life
Another common challenge that new fathers face is setting clear boundaries between work and home life. At times, the lines can get pretty blurred, making it difficult to squeeze in time for one’s family. Fathers also face issues like sleep deprivation, time constraints, feelings of guilt, and being present in both spheres.
Thankfully, workplaces are evolving to help both parents adjust to their new lives. Yes, we are talking about the widely recognized concept of paternal leave. In its 2023 State of Workplace Empathy Review, Businessolver found that 92% of employees considered paid paternal leave to be a top empathetic benefit.
Fathers must make use of these benefits to support their partners and develop meaningful relationships. The time spent away from work will also help in bonding better with one’s baby. Once the leave period ends, young dads can opt for flexible or hybrid work arrangements to effectively balance work and family life.
Despite all this, time management is of utmost priority. Fathers should create a structured schedule, allocating sufficient time towards family life and work demands. Whenever required, they should lean on friends and family to help with childcare responsibilities. This will take some pressure off the mother and allow both parents to spend quality time with each other.
Sieving Through Different Advice
Parenting is a deeply relational and personal experience on a universal scale. This means every parent will have certain first-hand anecdotes and valuable insights to share. Many well-intentioned parents tend to share advice with a desire to be closely involved in a new parent’s life.
A couple’s father and mother are undoubtedly included, but this may extend to distant relatives, friends, colleagues at work, and so on. In short, the entire world is willing and ready to offer advice when they know that a couple has just had a baby.
In some cases, the advice may be unsolicited and from folks who have not shared the parenting experience first-hand. At a time when the mother is vulnerable and still recovering, the father must shoulder the responsibility of sieving through different advice.
We understand that this can be a massive challenge. It is important to remember that not all advice is beneficial and might come from a place of personal bias. New dads need to use their discretion and set clear boundaries. If they feel overwhelmed by someone’s constant intervention, it may become imperative to decline politely.
With a close view of their family’s unique situation, fathers must make decisions regarding their baby’s feeding, childcare arrangements, medical providers, and so on. Their purview must extend to the mother’s health, food and nutrition, and medical interventions required.
Can you relate to these challenges? If so, follow the tips we have discussed. According to studies, the average age gap between first-time mothers and fathers has shrunk. In any case, men have been embracing fatherhood post-30 years on average since time immemorial.
Taking up this important role after maturity does not remove the challenges altogether. Staying informed is key to identifying and managing a fatherhood crisis. You are the best person to know what’s best for your family. Exercise your rights and discretion to navigate the complexities of parenting.
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